The Pinking of Preschool

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March 24, 2011

By ILENA SILVERMAN

The recent announcement that a mother and part-time family counselor in Santa Cruz, Calif., was starting an all-girls preschool called the Pink Academy (“It’s pink, it’s girly and it’s all about them!”) has, as you may imagine, received quite a bit of opprobrium. I asked Peggy Orenstein, whose recent book, “Cinderella Ate My Daughter,” takes a hard look at the princess-industrial complex and the emphasis on the hyper-feminine, girlie-girl culture. Here’s her response:

The school’s Web site, which has now been password protected, cites unnamed “research” showing that girls in single-sex classrooms perform better academically and have stronger self-esteem than other girls. Not only are those claims less definitive than she suggests, but they have nothing to do with preschoolers.
In fact, according to Carol Martin and Rick Fabes, professors of child development at Arizona State University, a co-educational environment is essential to children’s early cognitive, psychological and emotional development. “A little girl who only plays with girls,” Martin says, “who learns the gender behavior and interaction of little girls — well, what they do together is limited. Same with little boys.”
At birth, she explains, boys and girls are sort of like Canadians and Americans: mostly the same, with the exception of a few quirks. But by preschool, gender-specific behavior emerges: girls cluster in pairs or trios, chat with one another more than boys do, are more intimate and cooperative in their play and are more likely to promote group harmony. They play closer to teachers and are more likely than boys to choose toys and activities structured by adults. Boys on the other hand, play in packs. Their games are more active, rougher, more competitive and more hierarchical than girls’ games. They try to play as far as possible from adults’ peering eyes.
Yet, all of that is why they need to be together rather than apart. Without exposure to and interaction with the other sex, the differences get only larger. By as early as age 4, girls begin to pull ahead in verbal and social skills, while boys begin outstripping girls in spatial ability. Before you know it, it’s Mars and Venus all over again.
Preschool is the time when children’s brains are most malleable, most open to change about the roles and abilities that go with their sex. It’s the worst possible time to segregate them. So forget about locking your daughter in a Pink Princess tower: if you want her to find her true happily ever after, find a preschool that gently but consistently encourages and reinforces cross-sex play.

For more on the same-sex education question, check out Elizabeth Weil’s 2008 cover story examining the increase in single-sex public schools. Also, for more thoughts about the intersection between our daughters and our culture, read Orenstein’s story in this Sunday’s New York Times Magazine about Miranda Cosgrove, the star of the hit tween show “iCarly.” Peggy explores what she sees as our desire to see young stars as the perfect, wholesome, innocent role models for our daughters and the near-inevitable shift these girl stars make into a highly-sexualized acting out.
The New York Times